Dreamflesh » funny

Number ones

Gyrus — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:11:10 +0000

Haven’t been tagged with a blogging meme for a while, so I thought I’d honour Merrick nominating me for this one. The idea is to find five searches that your site appears at number one in Google for, and then tag five other blogs. Sexual content in the searches gets a bonus, which is actually more than just healthy puerility; the internet being what it is, ranking high for obscenities is a real acheivement.

I’ll preface this with a little caveat. Google’s search results often vary from domain to domain (i.e. from google.com to google.co.uk), and also from time to time. The following I found hitting the #1 spot on google.co.uk, today.

Actually, I’m pipped to the post on that last one by a vast page of Throbbing Gristle reviews, but I think even a #2 spot for that phrase deserves acclaim.

For what it’s worth, I’ll tag Joel Biroco, Mark Pilkington, Natasha Young… and I’ll stop there. I always run out of people to tag—maybe that’s a good thing.

P.S. Just checking the above links before posting, I found that in the time between first searching and writing this, in the “strap-on transexual freud devil” search result my dreamflesh.com #1 hit had been replaced by a PDF of the same content that’s been uploaded to scribd.com. Mine hasn’t even been nudged to #2—it’s just gone. I’ve flicked through the next few pages of results and couldn’t find the dreamflesh.com page before I became queasy. (Really, some of the other things alongside in the results for the above are for the extremely jaded only.)

UK voters tell it like it is

Gyrus — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 12:58:05 +0000

Merrick has discovered Xtranormal, a website that lets you make little animated films online. Select backdrops, characters, move them around, and type in their dialogue—which gets spoken by voice synthesizers. Which, of course, sound hilarious if you make them swear a lot.

Having got past the initial juvenile—and cripplingly funny—bout of gangsta-rap parody, Merricks still fears he “may never blog in another format ever again”. But with gems like the one I’ve embedded below, mercilessly nailing the woeful orgy of confused stupidity that was the European elections—is this such a bad thing?

Bodhisattva

Gyrus — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:12:50 +0000

Furry Happy Monsters

Gyrus — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 09:26:08 +0000

A good way to start the day:

Thanks to Merrick for his YouTube Muppet hit parade…

Motivational slogan #1

Gyrus — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 13:42:26 +0000

Meat cities… Meat sky… Boiling oceans of meat.

Gyrus — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

For a while now, a small group of fearless, bickering, Leeds-based sonic pioneers, viscera shredded from wild laughing jags, have been colluding to create Radio Savage Houndy Beasty. I’m proud to have been party to this venture, pitched with haphazard glee between Negativland, Chris Morris’ Blue Jam, bedsit rituals of aggressive conviviality, and the introduction of the cane toad to Australasia.

Theorising that while too many cooks may spoil the broth, the sound emanating from this spoiling would sound, like, really weird if we mixed it in low with some backwards forest noises and repetitive Carry On samples, RSHB has been broadcast across the whole LS6 region in the small hours of the morning for about a decade now. Shows have become less frequent of late, but the tireless-when-not-tired Merrick has been doing a fine job of getting us heard by more than 4 people by running off cost-price "best of" CDs hand-picked by the gang from each season.

Well, a new double CD, ‘King Monged, is now out. "Disc one is more in yer face, whilst disc two is more off yer face." You can even stick that three quid on your credit card via PayPal. Obviously I recommend it to all but the unconfused, but don’t take my word for it—check out the downloadable samples. I have to single out the track ‘Meat’ (5MB MP3) for special mention. I listened to it again last week as I was updating the site, and within half a minute I was on my knees, pounding the floor as laughter pulled my neck muscles over my skull.